That led to this exchange: Just like that, The Dooze was dying. Every time we bounced the ball, her head would jostle, but only a little. We loved Newfoundlands, but their back legs go too fast. Day-zee." Bill Simmons is a columnist for Page 2 and ESPN The Magazine. So much for our first dog. Every time she hit the cone against something, she’d spring into the air and tear off like the devil itself was on her tail. Ages 6 through 10 are the best years for a pooch -- that's when they mellow out, when they cease surprising you, when you can guess everything they might do before they do it. Last winter, my wife became convinced something was wrong with The Dooze. By the spring of 2004, my wife was working and I was writing full-time for ESPN again, so our roles reversed: I finally got to spend more time with my dog and crammed morning and afternoon ball throws into my daily work routine. She just laid there and let him do his thing. This was her last hurrah. To subscribe to the "B.S. Nobody could consistently fling balls reminiscent of a perfect golf drive quite like me. The day after The Dooze left us, our little boy woke up and my wife carried him downstairs to feed him like she always does. Once Dooze started visibly declining, our daughter knew something bad was happening, so we told her that Dooze was heading to the moon soon and went through the "it's better on the moon, she'll be happier there" charade. But read it I finally did, and Andy is right, Simmons is an incredible writer. Mike Francesa called Bill Simmons about being co-host after Mad Dog split, confirms '30 for 30' Oct 14, 2015 at 4:58 PM Mike and the Mad Dog nearly became Mike and the Sports Guy. Somehow our tiny daughter, at that specific moment, decided she would sneak away, open our front door (a brand-new trick, unbeknownst to us) and stroll outside. Simmons’ story ends with what happens after his beloved dog is euthanized, and the day when his young son no longer called for her. Like he inherited it. She looked like a race horse. Getty Images. Now he’s hitting the latter half of his career and we can safely say that Nowitzki missed the boat as an alpha dog.” (415, 420) — Bill Simmons, “The Book of Basketball.” Published 2009. You just don't know. Guys, Bill has grown since the Doris Burke comment. "We can take her to the beach. (We realized later he was doing that for a specific reason. Rufus was sniffing her constantly. My father had carried him there since he no longer had the ability to walk. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com. Sometimes we found him lying on her or gently tapping her head. We tossed her a few from short range, then a few more. The Dooze fought through the pain, rose to her feet, grabbed the ball, rolled it over to us, took a few wobbly steps backward and dusted off the "Come on, throw it to me" face. There are still nights when I can’t sleep that my mind wanders to the week in 2006 when I came home from college to say goodbye to the dog who grew up with me. The cone literally transformed our dog in minutes. Some wounds feel as if they’ll never heal. Unwilling to raise a puppy on the concrete streets of Boston, we decided to wait until we moved ... somewhere. We laid down next to her. Now the doctors were saying she might last 10-12 months with chemotherapy injections and a better diet. I wanted to compete in the Olympics with The Dooze in whatever you would call this category. Then she realized that it was staying on her head and the curiosity turned to fear. My happiest memories of Biscuit last a decade – every single day we had him was happy. Dogs can't speak. When I noticed a car stopped in the street and someone carrying my daughter back to our house, I almost had a heart attack. Ever the wily veteran, she saved her fifth gear only for the longest tosses, cruising at a controlled pace for everything else. The “clear” cone completely threw off her sight and awareness of things around her. By the summer, she was having mostly good days and only a few bad ones (always the day after chemo). It fits nicely with conventional wisdom: first apex mountain in 2010 (30 for 30, BoB), a second in 2015 (leaves ESPN, joins HBO), and a decline in relevance ever since. As part of the deal, we had to move to Los Angeles and leave everyone behind: Our friends, our family, my teams, the things we loved, everything. Not dogs. The graph below tracks search interest in Bill Simmons since 2004. This will be awkward if she ever meets Neil Armstrong. Explicit content . His funny, loving and – honestly – poignant story about “The Dooze” is a must-read. First Grade School Poem by Bill Simmons.She was a pretty little thing her smile was everything Back in first grade school I was so in love this puppy love stuff At the beach, The Dooze's non-stop desire for that tennis ball could tire out anyone's arm. What a dumb thing to be proud of ... and yet, The Dooze was the only one who fully appreciated it. I threw my arms around his neck and repeated those words again and again. We kept telling ourselves that Dooze would let us know when she was ready -- somehow, someway -- but that's the thing about dogs, you just never know. She belongs to the West Coast, and because of her, maybe so do we. She was 6 years old going on 16. Nevermind the changes to our budget, schedules and priorities. My wife took charge and made it her personal mission to get The Dooze to her sixth birthday. I named him. Now she thinks everyone goes to the moon when they die. Before I proposed to my girlfriend, we had already discussed getting a dog. Woooooooosh. Wednesday: J.A. Her biggest save happened in January '07. By this time, it was the summer of 2002. Dogs know. Fortunately, the dogs followed her and shielded her like two offensive linemen. When we asked her why, she explained, "It was time for her to go to the moon. Just for the hell of it, I tossed a ball in the water knowing that I'd probably have to dive in there to get her. We drove her to the vet's office (bringing along a tennis ball, of course) and stopped at AstroBurger for her last supper; she wolfed down a cheesburger in 4.2 seconds in the back of the car. Damn the vet’s instructions, the dog was being tortured! I don’t know what their secret is, but ours is that our sweet, calm little girl can turn into a leaping, shaking angry mass of black hair and crazy eyes. mode. Right after New Year's, Dooze took a turn for the worse. He currently hosts "The Bill Simmons Podcast", and founded TheRinger.com and Ringer Podcast Network in 2016. We debated it constantly. He barely moved. We lived on a street with especially wide sidewalks and little traffic, so we trained her to sprint for balls without ever straying into the street. We rewarded her with more ball throws and a few coveted beach trips. She looked skinny and frail, just a bag of bones with a beautiful golden coat. He was family. Where to find inspiration, how to know when it's time to stop writing and other answers to … He knew. The dog will have a good life.". When Andy shared Bill Simmons’ 2009 “One final toss for The Dooze” with me this week, I knew I’d have to read it when I was alone so no one would see my intense waterworks display. When I cried, he offered warmth and unconditional love by resting his chin on my knee. They ran some tests on her. We took her in to the animal hospital and they worried it was glaucoma or even something worse. Once he started crawling, he'd crawl to the front of our house and smother Dooze. That's what happens when your dog grows old. Let’s break this puppy down: I’m Bill Simmons and here is what I believe. Eventually, we starting using two balls and taught her how to fetch one, run back at full-speed, drop the first one as she was approaching us, then keep going 40-50 yards the other way for the second one (like a nonstop series of wind sprints). So I took it off. You can't know. The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Raja Bell to discuss how they feel about trade deadline deals after the weekend, the bizarre NBA buyout rules, Andre Drummond’s fit on the Lakers, James Harden’s MVP run, Blake Griffin’s potential resurgence on the Nets, Aaron Gordon on the Nuggets, and their picks to make the NBA Finals (2:45). Blue? But that's the part nobody prepares you for -- not just losing your dog, but watching your kids lose their dog. Upon reaching the veterinary clinic, we carried her inside in her little dog bed, almost like how they use those stretchers for injured football players, then we waited in a little room that smelled like stale pee. One of the biggest reasons I did not want to adopt Dharma was because I knew there would come a day when I would have to say goodbye. : I know the previous paragraph is going to lead to about 700 "Who wrote the Dodger When cancer spread through his body – then heavy from steroids he’d taken from a muscle replacement surgery and probably the human snacks we couldn’t help but share with him – my parents told me very calmly what was happening and that time now was short. The doctor came in a few minutes later and euthanized her, with that same ball resting right next to her mouth. Agony washed over me – agony for not being there when he was sick, for not caring for him more the last week of his life, agony that he was in so much pain and I could do nothing. Simmons may single-handidly have turned me into a sports reader and helped me finish the healing process. The Bill Simmons Podcast JackO on 'Mike and the Mad Dog,' and Shea Serrano on the Best Worst Movie Dunks (Ep. Monday: Mega-Playoff Podcast IV with Cousin Sal and Mike Lombardi, looking ahead to Super Bowl XLIII. The first word he ever said was "Day-zee." Was she depressed because we had our second child and weren't giving her enough attention? She joined me eight weeks later. Nope. But what kind? Maybe she wanted one last swim. Bill’s son, Mark, started working for the company in 1968. We didn't have a single neighbor who wasn't totally and completely impressed. “The Dooze” was Simmons’ first dog. And since The Dooze was a loner of the highest order -- every time she jumped on the sofa next to us, it was an unexpected treat, like she had graced us with her presence -- she absolutely despised her brother at first. We were demolished, obviously. She planted herself near our front door and wouldn't move. We thought it might happen last Thursday, then Friday. I was tempted to go to Google, yet again, for answers, but I listened to Andy and my parents – former dog owners – who also reassured me that the cone was for Dharma’s health and we were doing the right thing. There are lots of different names for the Jordan model, but Bill Simmons’ version is probably the best known: The Alpha Dog. Oh, man. But just like I’ve been avoiding “Marley and Me” so, too, did I avoid Simmons’ story. There was one walk when she made it only one block before lying down. We didn't even have her for six full years. I was still half asleep and could hear her footsteps. I don’t think I realized what was happening to him until the very last second when I went to the back of the station wagon to pet him one last time. That thought haunted me throughout our adoption process. Every moment with him, including that last week, made it worth it. bill simmons | Each one of us is drawn to beauty, in people, places, nature or things. She wanted one immediately. (P.S. Tuesday: Chuck Klosterman talks Obama, music, aging and the NBA. She looked at it. It was amazing to watch. Editor’s note: In conjunction with Grantland’s oral history of the launch of WFAN, it’s only fitting that we open the Sports Guy’s Vault and relive the running diary of the Mike and the Mad Dog column from May 12, 2006.Just for fun, 2012 Bill wrote footnotes for 2006 Bill’s piece. When I rented an apartment next to a house with a young golden retriever named Zoe, we thought that was a sign. We couldn't ask for anything more than that. But he was “my” dog, a rich golden-red retriever pup I watched grow from a nipping, jumping, wayward youth on four awkward limbs, to a sweet, terribly wise and kind adult with a healthy obsession for chasing tennis balls. For that first year or so, I was working long hours and my wife hadn't found a job yet. If we bounced a tennis ball and she didn't respond, we figured that would be it. My little girl was fine. JackO on 'Mike and the Mad Dog,' and Shea Serrano on the Best Worst Movie Dunks Bill Simmons brings on old buddy JackO to discuss Aaron Judge's slump after the home run derby By Bill Simmons … Her breath stunk like holy hell. Like she knew he didn't know any better. My wife went out to pick up dinner, and I was watching a basketball game. Andy was a hero! How could anything be wrong? Then we thought about it… surely the vet’s promise of “she’ll get used to it” would come true. He hated being alone. Special eye drops saved the day. Seeing him curled up on the hard plastic flooring of the trunk, I suddenly had no idea what I was going to say or do. 21 Mar. I had pinpoint aim. She would never NOT chase a ball, so the sessions usually ended with The Dooze lying on her side and her tongue hanging five feet from her body ... but waiting for the next throw. Even made her way over to the pool and seemed like she wanted to jump in. She was constantly doing things with Dooze: they'd go to the beach, go hiking, go for one-hour walks, you name it. I have never seen a dog who was sweeter with a little kid -- he could pull her ears, sit on her head, poke her in the eye, pull her tail and she didn't care. But every time we bounced the ball, her head popped right up. We were getting a golden. Andy and I tried sitting with her, petting her and soothing her, showering her with treats and chew toys, showing her how she can lie down and get her tummy rubbed – her ultimate favorite past time. It was like she knew. If you write for a living, it's good to keep moving. Her back legs started failing. The next day, Dharma acted like the plastic wrapped around her neck didn’t exist. Meanwhile, something unexpected was happening, something we hadn't counted on: Our little boy had become enchanted by The Dooze. She tired quickly and laid down again ... and that was that. Adande stops by to discuss Obama's inauguration and size up the NBA contenders. I am convinced to this day that Dooze saved her; had it just been Rufus, he would have followed her out, then skipped away to eat cat poop or something. I had this whole thing about sports fans, I liked how it was like our last male thing. Bill Simmons decided it's time to do a running diary of his favorite sports radio show -- so welcome to the world of Mike and the Mad Dog. I’d had Biscuit for 10 years. She was officially suffering. The Dooze saved the day. Then we bought a house, my wife got pregnant and we found Dooze a brother named Rufus. Bill Simmons is a sports writer, television personality, and podcaster. Dogs have a huge threshold for pain. At one point, she jumped on me, hugging all four legs tightly around mine and whined. I chose him from the litter. At night, she scared away a few people in our kinda-sorta-maybe-sketchy-at-night neighborhood. That week was filled with regrets and deep pain. As the night wore on, our worries increased and we felt completely at a loss for what to do. “The Dooze” was Simmons’ first dog. But just like I’ve been avoiding “Marley and Me” so, too, did I avoid Simmons’ story. Home/ Uncategorized/ bill simmons instagram puppy. They always know.) move. There is so much beauty to discover. Our daughter didn't cry. Dogs always know. We came home and Rufus was a mess. The driver said, "If it wasn't for those two dogs, I wouldn't have seen her." I just wasn’t ready to face the loss. On Friday afternoon, my parents were visiting and The Dooze rallied one last time. We knew we had to trust the professionals. It was time. Oh. The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Bills' win over the Steelers that shook up the AFC playoffs standings, the Chiefs' win over the Dolphins, Cardinals-Giants, Saints-Eagles, Philadelphia's QB situation, Falcons-Chargers, … You know them as well as you know anything. Keeps you fresh. Since Dharma could re-infect herself by licking her nether regions, the vet insisted on a cone. Whenever he lay beside her, you could see her thinking, "I wish he'd go away, I wish he'd go away ..." Knowing that she'd never get the same attention (especially after our daughter was born), The Dooze settled into a new role as protector of our house. But Simmons’ story is only partially about the end of The Dooze’s life. By the time she was home, she had lost all sense of reality. Report" on iTunes, click here. The Dog And The Cat Poem by Bill Simmons. When Simmons wrote openly and sentimentally about the death of his dog, Daisy, he received loads of mail from fans who could deeply relate. But just like I’ve been avoiding “Marley and Me” so, too, did I avoid Simmons’ story. I just wasn’t ready to face the loss. We just thought it seemed fitting. For every Simmons column, as well as podcasts, videos, favorite links and more, check out the revamped Sports Guy's World. No dice. People, maybe. As a parent, you feel obligated to protect your children from the things you don't want them to see, and then suddenly there's your dog slowly dying in the house, and they're seeing it every day. We loved the thought of rescuing a mutt, but we worried about getting one with "I hate kids" DNA, and we wanted to have kids. I could practically hear her begging me, “please, please, please take this off, I’ll be a good girl.” I almost cried several times I felt so badly for her. The decision ultimately didn't matter. And it was pitch-black. I believe the defending NBA champs should wear championship belts to every game. Read Bill Simmons poem:The dog says to the cat 'Why don't you come down from that tree I'll only chew you up and spit you out. She didn't go in. In the 25 seconds that passed between my realizing the door was open and my sprinting outside like Usain Bolt, she made it all the way to our street. She looked at it. That swung her vote. At first, Dharma thought the cone was great, licking the outside, sniffing it as her tail wagged furiously. Francesa has long held Simmons in high regard, though Simmons was barred from going on the WFAN host’s show by ESPN. We loved Great Danes, but they never seem to live long enough. Within a few days, we were on the phone with a doctor who told us grimly that The Dooze had stage-5 lymphoma. "We can get a dog," I kept telling her. On: March 21, 9:49 pm In: Uncategorized My fiancée wasn't as crazy about leaving. She licked our faces with her smelly breath and we didn't care. The Ringer By Andrew Bucholtz on 02/26/2018 Ringer editor-in-chief Bill Simmons kicked off quite the Twitter fight Monday over his opposition to emotional support dogs. Yeah, It's Safe to Call MJ an Alpha Dog Simmons didn’t invent the concept or the term: lots of analysts, sportswriters, announcers and coaches have described the alpha dog model in one way or another over the years. She made it to her sixth birthday, made it on our Christmas card, made it through the holidays and made it to 2009. Everyone with kids knows that you have to catch a few dumb breaks along the way; this was one of ours. I moved to California on Nov. 16, 2002. In one of his most confessional columns, Simmons pens a heartbreaking eulogy for his beloved golden retriever, Daisy (or “The Dooze,” as she’s referred to … She hung her head in absolute shame and refused to calm down. True, I rarely picked up his poop, and he did seem to favor my father – the only other male in the house who also adored him – and my mother who devotedly cared for him while I was at school and Dad at work. But read it I finally did, and Andy is right, Simmons is an incredible writer. That's what we always thought. She looked at it. HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss an end of an era: Tom Brady confirmed he is leaving the New England Patriots. Bill Simmons. There was no way to know. She spent her time sleeping, swimming and chasing balls, although she didn't have the same wheels anymore. Dharma has worms, which will be another totally different blog, but for the record, they’re of the whip version – easily curable, harmless to humans, but very dangerous to its host. I don't know how dogs know, but they know. His unconditional loving self was the embodiment of happiness. The latter group nods in silent understanding as if they and we share a secret that cannot be discussed outside the privacy of one’s home. I made a promise with myself that in the future, I’ll trust the vet. She was definitely looking older, but geez, she had just turned 5, and we kept her in phenomenal shape. Even to the bitter end, she couldn't turn down AstroBurger. We loved golden retrievers, but my father had two and we didn't want to copy him. I spent that spring and summer writing columns, finishing a book and doing my Maddux routine with Dooze. Hopefully, it will remain the biggest dumb break. Every morning, he was there by my side – cold nose on my arm as the alarm clock blared. Though I didn’t know if he would understand or care, I gathered the last bit of strength I had and told him everything would be OK. 1,434 Likes, 41 Comments - Bill Simmons (@sptguy33) on Instagram: “The puppy pretends to nap while waiting for me to go to the office so she can destroy more things…” The cancer had rooted itself in her bones and wasn't going away. THE SPORTS GUY. I was thinking of taking a job writing for a television show. Rufus immediately attached himself to The Dooze, followed her around and pretty much dominated our lives from that point on; he was like Marley crossed with Satan. Gulp. It's not fair. We couldn't tell how much she was suffering. The majority of the piece celebrates her life – her love for tennis balls, her fish-like tendencies, her protective nature. He brought immense joy to our lives and it was never a burden to come home to let him out. She was sleeping all the time. The part that made me sad happened three mornings later ... when my wife was carrying him downstairs again and he didn't say anything. We always imagined The Dooze in 2017 as a 15-year-old with creaky hips and a white face and unconscionably bad breath, only every time we came home, her tail would start wagging and she'd roll a ball toward us, and we'd shake our heads and it would be like a cheesy movie scene. Yes, Dharma is sporting a transparent, plastic cone that causes other dogs to stare and current and previous dog owners to stop and inquire on how we’re holding up with her. Nightly pheasant roasts and the mess from their puppy, Zombie, likely caught the attention of Simmons's officer-in-charge. Dharma is family, and I’m so happy she has given us so many reasons to celebrate daily… in the present, right now. His new book "Now I Can Die In Peace is available on Amazon.com and in bookstores everywhere. R ecently, I realized something. Miracles don't happen with lymphoma and dogs. When Andy shared Bill Simmons’ 2009 “One final toss for The Dooze”  with me this week, I knew I’d have to read it when I was alone so no one would see my intense waterworks display. His funny, loving and – honestly – poignant story about “The Dooze” is a must-read. I'll see her again some day." I realized I’ve been living in those days for so long that I’d convinced myself I didn’t need or want a dog again and that putting down a dog outweighs having one. She wasn't giving us The Sign. Bill Simmons is a columnist for Page 2 and ESPN The Magazine. It will be 75 degrees every day. (Note: She trademarked this as well as her unique habit of repeatedly walking between our legs any time we returned to our house.) She stayed near the front door and barked at anyone suspicious. The only weird part was Rufus was sniffing her a lot. When the time seems right, we're heading to the beach and spreading those ashes in the Pacific Ocean. She carried Puppy Dooze around in a little front pack like a baby. Now he spends his days lying in Dooze's spot next to the front door. She didn't even seem that upset. During this period of rapid innovation, Simmons began producing a small pet food brand called “Bolo”. By Bill SimmonsPage 2 (Archive | Contact). When she could barely stand Saturday morning, that was that. They came from the same breeder and actually had the same father, so they were half-brother/half-sister like "90210" characters. Exhausted from the day, I quickly fell asleep, but Andy stayed up with Dharma into the early morning hours, soothing her and promising that everything would be OK until, at last, she slept. We couldn't let it happen. The first week we had him, he whimpered so loudly that we had to sleep with him every night. , made it worth it dumb break out of nowhere -- and we thought about it… surely the vet s! 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